If you want to be loved, you must learn how to love. If you want anyone else to fall in love with you, you must fall in love with yourself first. In our heart of hearts, love is what we all want, no matter how much we already have and those who say they don’t, are afraid. We all have the capacity to experience an infinite depth of love that far outreaches our current preconceived ideas about what love really is.
Searching outside of yourself for love when you haven’t learnt to love yourself automatically buys you a ticket on a rollercoaster ride, because everything that happens around you affects the way you feel about yourself. So if the person you look to for your love fix is having a bad hair day, you end up having one too.
When people come to me with a problem, it doesn’t matter what it is – poor health, money issues, unfulfilling relationships, stifled creativity – I always work with my clients in getting them to love themselves first. I find that when you really love, accept and approve of yourself exactly as you are, then everything in life works. It’s as if little miracles unfold everywhere. Our health improves, we attract more money, our relationships get better and we begin to express ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways.
Without love, life is empty. The beat of the heart is what makes the world go around. Love influences everything, because whatever you want to be and do, always involves your relationships in life. You can’t live without relationships. Nothing can be accomplished alone. You can’t even be selfish by yourself; there is always someone else involved. We are all related whether we like it or not because we are linking with each other as living centres of life. So it’s vital to work on your relationships and the best place to start is with the relationship with yourself.
Sitting around waiting for others to love you so that you can love yourself is putting the cart before the horse. It needs to be the other way around. How can you possibly expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself? Ask yourself how much time you spend searching for love outside yourself and then how much time you put into loving yourself first.
Loving yourself takes practise and it means living in ways that do not betray you. It comes from living by your truth. Not going against the voice of your own heart. You have to fall in love with yourself first to gain the capacity to have the true love experience. This way, when stuff happens out there in the world, your own love gives you an inner strength that can place you in the eye of the storm.
Make self-love a given, like the beat of your heart and your breathe. Detach your love for yourself from your actions, behaviour and what goes on in your life. What happens in your life is an opportunity for learning and growth. It doesn’t need to affect your love for yourself.
The key to all healing is to love the unlovable and this occurs when you love yourself so hard that the fear melts away. Learn to love the things about yourself which aren’t perfect yet, just as much as you love the things in yourself which are happy with.
All change comes from within. You have to take action, not just think about it. Doing things for others so that they will love you is going about it the wrong way. It will only make you more dependent on other people’s opinions or moods. So start loving yourself today. Don’t wait around for someone else to love you. Love yourself unconditionally without expectation of return.
Love makes the world go round. Bring love into the equation first, not last. Instead of seeing love as a by-product of your life, view your life as the rewards of love.
Love has an extraordinary effect on your body: your eyes twinkle, your skin glows, you radiate happiness. People who love themselves and their bodies don’t abuse themselves or others. If you have true love for yourself then you would treat yourself, everyone else and the environment very with greater respect and love. If you really love yourself then all good springs from it. So before you get out of bed in the morning and before you go to sleep at night make sure you are in love with yourself.
BIO
Jenny Parker has studied the healing process and accelerated human change for over 25 years. This knowing and wisdom is put to use in her work as a coach and mentor, teacher, writer and inspirational speaker. For more info go to www.heartforce.com.au or email